Getting Back To Gratitude
Expressing thanks may be one of the simplest ways to feel better. Giving thanks can make you happier. It's time to give thanks for all that we have! Now that the final harvest has long passed, we settle into the cooler autumn weather, and slowly turn inward for a long winter ahead. But first we must celebrate our abundance and have gratitude for everything in our lives!
The Thanksgiving holiday began, as the name implied, when the colonists gave thanks for their survival and a good harvest. So perhaps November is an excellent time to review the mental health benefits of gratitude and consider some advice about cultivating this state of mind. Maybe the most straightforward and effortless habit for living a happier life is to take one or a few minutes every day to focus on what is already here and that you can be grateful for in your life.
Gratitude has been conceptualized as an emotion, an attitude, a moral virtue, a habit, a personality trait, or a coping response. The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness (depending on the context). In some ways, gratitude encompasses all of these meanings. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, gratitude helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.
In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.
People feel and express gratitude in multiple ways. They can apply it to the past (retrieving positive memories and being thankful for elements of childhood or past blessings), the present (not taking good fortune for granted as it comes), and the future (maintaining a hopeful and optimistic attitude). Regardless of someone’s inherent or current level of gratitude, it's a quality that individuals can successfully cultivate further.
Research on gratitude
Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, have researched gratitude. In one study, they asked all participants to write a few sentences each week, focusing on particular topics. One group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or something that had displeased them. The third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After ten weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.
Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, tested the impact of various positive psychology interventions on 411 people, each compared with a control assignment of writing about early memories. When their week's task was to write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude to someone who had never been adequately thanked for their kindness, participants immediately exhibited a huge increase in happiness scores. This impact was more significant than that from any other intervention, with benefits lasting for a month.
Of course, studies such as this one cannot prove cause and effect. But most of the studies published on this topic support an association between gratitude and an individual's well-being.
Other studies have looked at how gratitude can improve relationships. For example, a study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partner felt more positive toward the other person and felt more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship.
Managers who remember to say "thank you" to people who work for them may find that they feel motivated to work harder. Researchers at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania randomly divided university fundraisers into two groups. One group made phone calls to solicit alumni donations in the same way they always had. The second group — assigned to work on a different day — received a pep talk from the director of annual giving, who told the fund-raisers she was grateful for their efforts. During the following week, the university employees who heard her gratitude message made 50% more fundraising calls than those who did not.
There are some notable exceptions to the generally positive results in research on gratitude. One study found that middle-aged divorced women who kept gratitude journals were no more satisfied with their lives than those who did not. Another study found that children and adolescents who wrote and delivered a thank-you letter to someone who made a difference in their lives may have made the other person happier — but did not improve their well-being. This finding suggests that gratitude is an attainment associated with emotional maturity.
Ways to cultivate gratitude
Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier or thinking they can't feel satisfied until every physical and material need is met. Gratitude helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. And although it may feel contrived at first, this mental state grows stronger with use and practice.
Here are some ways to cultivate gratitude regularly
Write a thank-you note. You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with another person by writing a thank-you letter expressing your enjoyment and appreciation of that person's impact on your life. Send it, or better yet, deliver and read it in person if possible. Make a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter a month. Once in a while, write one to yourself.
Thank someone mentally. No time to write? It may help you think about someone who has done something nice for you and mentally thank the individual.
Keep a gratitude journal. Make it a habit to write down or share with a loved one thought about the gifts you've received each day.
Count your blessings. Pick a time every week to sit down and write about your blessings — reflecting on what went right or what you are grateful for. Sometimes it helps to pick a number — such as three to five things — that you will identify each week. As you write, be specific and think about the sensations you felt when something good happened to you.
Pray. Religious people can use prayer to cultivate gratitude.
Meditate. Mindfulness meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. Although people often focus on a word or phrase (such as "peace"), it is also possible to focus on what you're grateful for (the warmth of the sun, a pleasant sound, etc.).
Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind. Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
Reflect on your present blessings, on which every man has many, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.
—Charles Dickens (M. Dickens, 1897, p. 45)
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Published 11/25/2020
Dr. Amar Singh, MD, and Dr. Poonam Singh, MD, are board-certified by the American Board of Internal Medicine and American Board of Obesity Medicine. They specialize in preventing, treating, and reversing chronic diseases using an evidence-based holistic approach. They are specifically interested in weight management, hormone re-balancing, and longevity. The American College of Physicians has recognized them as Fellows, FACP, for their excellence and contributions made to both medicine and the broader community. They enjoy teaching, volunteering, and advocating for their patients. Their mission is to share simple, effective, and proven strategies that lead to meaningful, sustainable, and long-lasting well-being.